I need to find myself a hobby, something to occupy my time so I can get my mind off of all this. I guess I'm starting to feel happy again, my life no longer revolves around a phone that doesn't ring, three words I never hear, or a heart that overwhelms my head. From now on I'm going to start focusing on building up the relationships I used to have, and strengthening the ones that have only just started. I've realized that love and loss are a part of life, but they are not life itself. Love makes life a whole lot sweeter but you don't need it to be happy, I need to learn to just be happy with myself, and let things work themselves out. I'm not cool, or beautiful or special, but that didn't stop you from falling in love with me, I'm sure it made it a little easier to get over me, but its not going to stop me from finding love again. The future seems gloomy but thats only because I haven't given myself a reason to brighten it up. I met her, and it lightened up my life, and it will happen again, and probably again after that, and thats only another reason to keep going, life is meant to be lived, not spent in a rut. I guess its true that life is a roller coaster, im just sick of the fucking cartwheels, I've fallen down this hill and now its inevitable that I begin to climb back up.